Chasing Dreams, Project 2:20 - The Race

2019 London Marathon - 58th UK Championship (2:28:18)

They say the marathon is a cruel mistress. Whoever 'they' are, they're not wrong! I was hoping to just have to do some minor edits to the post I wrote back in December but alas it wasn't to be.


I'm not going to make any excuses. It just wasn't my day. I hit the start line with what I think is the most consistent block of training I have ever done prior to a marathon. I was so relaxed, I even slept for six whole hours on Saturday night. The usual nervous dodgy guts I have on race morning were nowhere to be seen. Hell I didn't even have to take any Imodium to padlock the back doors shut! Today was going to be my day. I could feel it, in fact I could just about taste it.


The gun goes and as Championship runners are no longer afforded a warm up area it was imperative the first mile was easy. It was. In fact everything about the first 5k was exactly as I had dreamed. Feel the effort, ease into it. A few people had asked me before the race what I thought I would run, 'ask me at 3 miles' was my reply. It's a good job no one did ask me the question then as I would have said about 2:20! Never have I felt that easy, even that early. Everything felt perfect. Just as I had planned, just as I had dreamed.

On I go and get to 10k still thinking this is perfect. I was almost smug in how I felt. I've mastered this marathon malarkey, I live and breathe it, I am a guru of the marathon. As soon as these thoughts started creeping in, my legs decided they'd had enough. By eight miles I knew I was in for a tough day. There was no way I was dropping out today, however. I needed to finish this one. For all the miles I had run, for all the months of frustration when out injured, for all the support my family and friends have afforded me in the pursuit of my dreams. This one was getting done. Just make sure it's under 2:30. That's still solid. And that's what I did. I got round in my second quickest London. Was a better time there on the day? Probably, but I almost certainly didn't want it enough, when it was clear that the race of my dreams just wasn't going to happen. To put myself in that hole when the legs weren't having it would have been futile. Sometimes we just have to accept that we are not going to be good enough on the day. With all time goals off the table I took the opportunity to stop in Parliament square for a quick cuddle with Mum, Hania and the girls. God I needed that at the time!

About to be swallowed by the Pride

As anyone that reads this blog will testify, I am quite analytical when it comes to my training. I honestly cant fault anything I did in the build up. I wouldn't have changed a thing. What went wrong? Having had a day to mull things over I'm coming to the conclusion that actually nothing went wrong, I'm just not ready. Yet. The time out, the missed successive marathon campaigns that had become a biannual occurrence had reduced my ability to smash it this time. I'm a better runner than yesterday's result suggests but on the day I wasn't. And that's what counts.

Am I disappointed? Weirdly no. I am so privileged to be able to run and race marathons. So many people would love to run the time I ran yesterday. Some people cant run, some people cant even walk. I am so so lucky that I have my health to be able to pursue these arbitrary dreams when others are less fortunate.

There are no short cuts when it comes to marathon training and one usually gets what their training deserves. Did I deserve more yesterday? Maybe. However, if there's one thing I've learned about being a marathoner is that it's not actually the end result that matters, it's the sheer love and joy of the process. The pursuit of becoming an expert. That's what drives me, that's what I love. I will be better next time. And better again after that. This is just the beginning.

Chasing Dreams, Project 2:20 - Week 11 of 12

M 60 mins HA (6:49mm), Easy 60 mins (7:47mm)
T 70 mins inc. Track Fartlek (6:19mm), Easy 50 mins (7:44mm)
W Easy 80 mins (7:54mm), Recovery 40 mins (7:57mm)
T Recovery 35 mins with a few strides (7:19mm)
F 75 mins inc. aborted Salford 10k (6:38mm)
S 70 mins HA (6:34mm), Easy 50 mins (7:01mm)
S 105 mins inc. 10 miles Easy Tempo (6:23mm)

Total 100.3 miles (6:59mm)
Aerobic Efficiency 986 Beats Per Mile Vs 955
Weight 142.73lbs Vs 142.4lbs
Body Fat 10.62% (15.15lbs) Vs 10.84% (15.44lbs)
Lean Body Mass 89.4%(127.6lbs) Vs 89.16% (126.97lbs)

Fitness 92.1 Vs 93.9
Fatigue 91.3 Vs 102.5
Form 2.5(Neutral) Vs -7.8 (Neutral)

I was hoping to be able to write a smuggish yet humble post this week about how I'd turned up at Salford and absolutely obliterated my 10k PB. As readers will know I even went to the extent of asking for guesses on what I might run! You can tell who think's they're in good shape when they're asking for predictions! It wasn't to be, but more on that shortly.

Last week was a bit poor and things didn't quite feel right as I wrote about before. I had put it down to being away from home on holiday and perhaps a bit of tiredness from the Manchester training run. What i didn't factor in was that I may have had a very low lying virus. In fact that didnt dawn on me until Wednesday evening when I was absolutely wiped out. I slept for ten and a half hours when I usually sleep about seven. I could have done with more too. Perhaps it was my body readying itself for a big effort on Friday? The doubts returned. Don't dig yourself a hole! Should I even bother showing up? I am a rather obsessive all or nothing kind of person and part of me was torn between doing the right thing(not racing) or saving face(racing) after saying I felt I was in with a good chance of beating my PB! Thursday afternoon I felt a lot more energetic but my run wasn't good. The legs felt out of sync and ploddy. Sod it, lets just go and see what happens. On Friday I actually felt fine physically and was ready to give it a good go. I kindly got a lift with colourful Alex Bellew from Renaissance Athlete Mick Hill. Line up on the start line, but I'm a good five rows back. With a rather muted 'go' we were on our way. Sort of. I was absolutely stuck. I could see the leaders pushing off into the distance. If I had any chance of a good time I needed to be in that group. Mick would have been a great person to try and hold on to, having run a very impressive 31:41 last week at Brighton. It was only five seconds into the race and it was already too late. I know what I'm like if I redline too early, I would have blown. OK - settle, try and get there gradually. It takes me until nearly 1k to catch up with clubmates Mike Burrett, Alex Bellew and Liam O'Brien. I try and push on and bridge the gap to the lead group but I'm just too far behind. At 2k it is starting to feel hard, like it should in a 10k. That's fine I tell myself. I'm making no progress, completely stranded. No one to aim for and no one to race with. On I go. By the time I get to 4k I've completely lost it mentally and decided I'll throw in the towel at half way. My brain telling me, it's a sensible thing to do given the virus, you have an even bigger effort to make in just over a week's time. I go through the 5k marker with the timer calling out 15:45. Aerobically and physically I was about how I should feel at that stage but I'm already pulling to the side of the road shortly after. I'm disappointed in myself. I call myself weak and ask what chance have I got next week if I can give in so easily? I march up and down for a few minutes before doing another lap at something resembling a moderate effort. Was it the right call? Probably. But I am still really disappointed  in myself because I know I am in 10k PB shape and this was a good opportunity to do that finally. Sadly on the day I just didn't have the minerals. I promise myself that I will not crumble next week. Having had a couple of days to mull things over yet more, if I had run 15:45 in a 5k the week before a marathon I would have actually been quite pleased so every cloud and all that!

No man's land having already mentally thrown in the towel. Photo Credit: Jerry Watson.

Other than that the week was OK. Another reduction in miles as to be expected and a couple of other decent sessions! Tuesday's track fartlek was actually really encouraging and I thought my legs had returned. Today I have started restricting my carbohydrate intake and will do so until after my run on Thursday. With that in mind I started the depletion with a run of 16.5 miles with 10 miles at an Easy Tempo pace (5:47mm). This felt incredibly comfortable with HR averaging 162 so about 11-15 beats to play with in respect to my Marathon HR. 

Body composition has improved a tad. That said what I found really interesting is that my weigh in's on Wednesday (my most under the weather day) and Thursday according the body composition scales I was retaining a huge amount of water. I suspect this was to help flush the virus away but who knows? Body water has returned to 'normal' levels for me now though and I do feel absolutely fine. Hopefully that is my last bug before the biggy and in some ways I can be happy that I've already had it! Aerobic efficiency is a bit worse but this is likely due to the virus so I'm not concerned about that.

As I have started the taper it isn't surprising to see the 'fitness'  and 'fatigue' has dropped a bit (fatigue drops quicker than fitness) but form (the balance between the two) is creeping up. The aim for this coming week is to heavily reduce the miles ahead of Sunday and try to hit a training stress balance (form) of 20-25 without losing much more than 10% of my peak fitness of 95. 

So what shape am I in for the marathon? I will be putting a blog together that will appraise my training block relative to previous build ups to give me a good feel for where I'm at. Whatever the outcome the plan will be as it should always be; turn up and run the best marathon you can on the day with the conditions and variables you're dealt.

Chasing Dreams, Project 2:20 - Week 10 of 12

M Rest
T 70 mins Easy (6:42mm), Easy 55 mins (7:14mm)
W 70 mins inc 15X1min (60s) (6:23mm), Easy 50 mins (7:25mm)
T 60 mins Easy, 40 mins Moderate, 5 mins Easy (6:42mm), 35 mins Recovery (7:52mm)
F 70 mins HA (6:41mm)
S 125 mins inc. aborted session (6:19mm),Recovery 45 mins (7:35mm)
S 70 mins HA (6:41mm), Easy 75 mins (7:16mm)

Total 113.9 miles (6:50mm)
Aerobic Efficiency 955 Beats Per Mile Vs 971
Weight 142.4lbs Vs 142.48lbs
Body Fat 10.84% (15.44lbs) Vs 10.29% (14.66lbs)
Lean Body Mass 89.16% (126.97lbs) Vs 89.7% (127.8lbs)

Fitness 93.9 Vs 95 Vs
Fatigue 102.5 Vs 117.3
Form -7.8 (Neutral) Vs -10.9 (Optimal)

Have I pushed too far? Have I tried to do too much? Do I still believe in my process? Is there an easier way? A more optimal way. These are all questions that have run through my head this week.

Last week I ran 2:36:27 at Manchester and while I didn't race it, it felt tougher than I would have liked. I've run quicker marathons around my favourite tempo loop at 5am without a number pinned to my chest. Maybe I'm not as fit as I thought? Sod it, carry on. You can't really control the outcome, you can only control what you put into it. What does sub 2:20 mean anyway? All you can do is your best. Keep going. Get back to focusing on the process. Do the things that have worked for you in the past. Look at all the great sessions you have done, not the crap ones that have left you wondering.

Monday I took a rest day. It wasn't planned and although the legs felt fine to be running, even after covering over 28 miles the previous day, I was on annual leave and decided to have a sleep in. We were going away in a hired motorhome for a few days to the Peak District. I promised myself I'd get my run in after we'd packed up. That then drifted to 'I'll do it when we get there.' And as is often the case if I haven't got my run in first thing the day drifts away and then it's too late. There are 24 hours in every day. I only need to find about two of those hours to run. On Monday I failed! Oh well. A rest day is never a bad thing I'm told and maybe it'll do me some good in the long run.

The rest of the week I just got things done but it never felt quite right. I do find it difficult to run when on holiday. Perhaps just because I'm not in my routine of run, eat, school run, work, run, eat, work, eat, eat, sleep, etc. The holiday was brilliant and it was lovely to spend some quality time with the girls doing something different, but my training did seem to be a bit of a damp squib.

I did a session of 15X1min(60s) on the Wednesday on a trail, so although the surface wasn't brilliant it wasn't particularly bad either. And it was a bit downhill! I did this in the hope that it would wake up the legs a bit. I ran them at an average of 4:47 pace which is about bang on 15 minute 5k pace. Recoveries were around 6:40 pace so not slouching either. It was on the face of it a good session and again proves I am fit. Maybe I'm just wanting to get to the start at Blackheath and get on with things.

The second session was planned for Saturday and a repeat of what I did a couple of weeks prior: 30 mins, 4X5mins, 30 mins. My legs still felt 'dead', perhaps because I had got my Friday run in which was a HA quite late and maybe, just maybe I hadn't manage to replace enough electrolytes. I knew on the warm up that my legs weren't really in a place to run fast, so I took it relatively easy but then knocked the session on the head 10 minutes into the last 30 minute effort. Sometimes it's just not worth pushing on and I was nervous about digging myself a hole. In hindsight it was a curious run in that my aerobic efficiency was brilliant. Just about the best it's ever been, I simply couldn't get the legs to turn over at the pace I wanted. I guess that's what a taper is for though to see some of that freshness come back.

So the aerobic efficiency has improved a bit and getting to peak levels for me. Body composition is much the same although I'm showing as having a bit more fat this week. I think this is because I only did two HA runs and as the core body temperature rises has a complimentary effect on the scales, which improves the averages.

Just two weeks to go now and with a bit of focus on getting my hydration sorted properly will see my legs return for a hard effort at Salford on Good Friday. Feel free to comment to predict my time!

The rest day on Monday seemed to improve my freshness, although I'm yet to feel it yet! So do I think I've pushed too far? No. I do feel good. I know I am as fit as I have been before. Have I tried to do too much? Maybe. As a runner wanting to get the best out of myself the desire to push on is always greater than the desire to hold back. A way I plan to alleviate this over the next two weeks is to really not force the pace on my easy days at all. I may even drop a few of the HA runs that I had planned given the long range forecast doesn't look too bad. Do I still believe in my process? Absolutely yes. I do. Of course there are doubts that creep in from time to time. I wouldn't be human if there weren't but I know what works generally and more importantly specifically for me. Is there any easier way? Maybe! But lofty goals require immense hard work and with the limited amount of natural ability I have, 'more and harder' is just about my only remedy.

Chasing Dreams, Project 2:20 Week 9 of 12

M 70 mins Heat Acclimatisation (6:49mm), 70 mins Easy (6:46mm)
T 70 mins HA (6:41mm)
W 110 mins inc. 10X1mile (0.5mile float) (5:52mm), Recovery 30 mins (8:14mm)
T 95 mins Easy (7:03mm),
F 70 mins HA (6:44mm), 50 mins inc. 10 mins, 5X2mins (60s) (6:03mm)
S 70 mins HA (6:44mm), Recovery 30 mins inc 5X30s accelerations (7:30mm)
S 175 mins inc Manchester Marathon (2:36:27)

Total 130.3 miles (6:31mm)
Aerobic Efficiency 971 Beats Per Mile Vs 969
Weight 142.48lbs Vs 142.56lbs
Body Fat 10.29% (14.66lbs) Vs 10.92% (15.57lbs)
Lean Body Mass 89.7% (127.8lbs) Vs 89.04% (126.94lbs)

Fitness 95 Vs 90.8
Fatigue 117.3 Vs 107.7
Form -10.9 (Optimal) Vs - 11(Optimal)

What a week that was! Almost certainly the biggest and hardest of the campaign. The introduction of my Heat Acclimatisation runs and three sessions along with some big filler mileage meant I nudged over 130 miles again.

The heat acclimatisation runs are really not nice, especially the first couple. I put four layers on, three of which were thermal, thermal tights, wooly hat and two pairs of gloves.

I need to do these as I do feel they prepare me for any adverse conditions that may pop up on the day but also they're very good in other areas such as improving one's ability to retain electrolytes, increasing blood plasma volume and reducing perceived effort at all intensities, irrespective of conditions! I do these runs on the treadmill in the garage and do my best to make a cloud. Of course I cant particularly regulate the conditions in the garage but I do like to see what happens over the course of a run. The below picture is my hygrometer that was reset before I started. Humidity increased from 63-86% and the temperature from 9.1 degrees to 12.6. Whilst I may not have had so much of an impact in the change in the room temperature I am certain that the humidity was down to me. I should really take my core body temperature at different parts of the run to really know what's going on but I draw the line at buying a rectal thermometer.

Over the course of four HA runs this week I saw significant improvements in aerobic efficiency for the runs demonstrating how quickly one adapts from this kind of stress. There will always be a cardiac drift in these runs as my core body temperature continues to rise throughout the run and conditions in the garage worsen but the more that drift is reduced will show how well adapted I have become.

Cardiac drift of my fourth HA run

I was keen to get a feeling for planned marathon pace so decided my Wednesday session would be 10X1mile with 0.5 mile float recoveries. The intention being to run the recoveries at a moderate pace so I wasn't entirely recovered before going into the next one. They average 5:18.5 mm for the efforts and 6:11s for the recoveries, meaning I averaged 5:36mm for the 15 miles. Another pleasing session in this build up.

Friday I did a short fartlek session of 10 mins threshold, 5X2mins (60s). Again it was pleasing to see the threshold pace come in at 5:04mm and the efforts averaging 4:50. I really hope this means I can average 5:04 or better at Salford as it will leave me with a very overdue PB of around 31:30. In honesty I should be capable of running much quicker than this anyway.

Then to Sunday, which for anyone that read last week's blog could have been my attempt at breaking 2:20.. In the end I decided that I would just use it as my last proper long run for London. It was great to be toeing the line of a marathon for the first time in two years. There is just something magical about a marathon. The excitement in the air at the start. The nervous glances, the smiles of trepidation. I had been deliberating how to run and had a few options. In the end all went out the window as a few miles in my guts were playing havoc and my legs were a little tired from not tapering at all. I usually take imodium prior to races just to make sure the doors are well and truly padlocked shut. I also realised perhaps foolishly that a marathon is actually quite a long way. The brain is quite good at forgetting at painful experiences. Take childbirth as an example! Thankfully I wont have to go through that, and I'm certainly not comparing a marathon to childbirth but I'm pretty sure that if a woman truly remembered what it was like the first time then they wouldn't choose to do it again. Ever! So I ran 2:36:27 with two toilet stops feeling pretty comfortable but not as comfortable as I would have liked. I don't know if it was due to not fully racing that contributed to the boredom that I endured but hope I will be a bit more 'switched on' when London comes around!

Trying to not be bored.

It was great to see a few people on the course supporting and I had a few pleasant chats with folks along the way, including a Swedish chap Niklas who knocked 20 minutes off his PB and got the standard to run in the Swedish Championships. Also another couple of worthy mentions; Leeds City V45 clubmate Jonathan Walton running a spectacular 2:28:36 PB off a mini taper from some big miles. And Anthony Clark of Bournemouth finally cracking the 2:30 barrier.

So that's most of the really hard work done and I do feel like I am in the shape of my life from an aerobic and speed point of view. Next week will see a slight reduction in miles before the taper really kicks in the following week.

Chasing Dreams, Project 2:20 - Week 8 of 12

M 60 mins Easy, 40 mins Moderate, 5 mins Easy (6:41mm), Recovery 40 mins (7:54mm)
T Easy 70 mins
W 110 mins inc Session (6:06mm), Recovery 40 mins (7:23mm)
T Easy 100 mins (6:53mm), Recovery 40 mins (7:50mm), 50 mins inc 20 mins Threshold (5:08mm)
F Easy 85 mins (7:44mm), Recovery 40 mins (7:56mm)
S Easy 70 mins (6:44mm)
S 115 mins inc 30 mins, 4X5mins, 30 mins (5:46mm)

Total 130.8 miles
Aerobic Efficiency 969 Beats Per Mile Vs 994
Weight 142.56 lbs Vs 142.92 lbs
Body Fat 10.92% (15.57 lbs) Vs 11.18% (15.98lbs)
Lean Body Mass 89.04% (126.94 lbs) Vs 88.94% (127.12lbs)

Fitness 90.8 Vs 87.2
Fatigue 107.7 Vs 100.7
Form -11 Vs -15 (Optimal)

I've felt like a seed from a gherkin this past few days. WTF does that mean? Well I've been in a bit of a pickle. I mentioned last week how I felt like I had had a bit of a breakthrough week and confidence was growing. It was growing so much that by Tuesday I was thinking about bringing forward my sub 2:20 attempt to Manchester this coming Sunday. Things had been really starting to go so well. I was seeing fitness that I haven't seen in two years and I thought I could well be ready. A quick check on the weather for Manchester and it looked like conditions might be perfect. More mulling over.... I remembered back to 2014 when Steve Way found himself in the shape of his life a week before London whilst building up for the British 100k championships. Steve made the decision to do an incredibly short and sharp taper and walked away with a three minute PB and got the standard that would allow him the opportunity to represent England at the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow. I asked Mike, Steve and a few close friends what they thought of the prospect of me going for it at Manchester. The feedback was generally to go for it. I promised myself I would see how Wednesday's session went and if it went like I wanted then I would go for it. Perhaps Fate was looking over me that morning as I chased dreams around Victoria Park as she quite royally messed about with the GPS signal and so I actually had no idea how fast I was running! I wanted to do 6X12 mins at target pace, so this is 5:20mm. Usually I run to effort and HR in training but it was important to try and hit a pace and see how it felt this time if Manchester had any legs. In all I managed 3.5 efforts at this pace (notwithstanding the likely GPS errors I leaned about when looking at the trace later) before reducing the session, knowing that I wasn't quite ready. The effort had been too high for the 'pace'. So at least that was put to bed. Or at least until I started looking at the trace and realising that I could well have been running much faster than 5:20mm. In which case 3X12mins, 6 mins at say 5:10mm would have been a good session! Anyway, it got me thinking some more but really my decision to not go for it at Manchester had been made. Mike agreed to save my beans for London. Either way it was a good session as I was working at some very strong aerobic paces.

I have in the past done a Canova Special Block where you do two hard sessions (Session 1 - 16.5 miles (5:49mm) Session 2 - 11 miles (5:53mm))in one day but for me this was too much, they did completely wipe me out so I adapted this slightly. Following on from Wednesday, I did a decent length (14.5 miles) easy run Thursday morning, a recovery (5 miles) run at lunch and then a decent threshold run in the evening. Even on tired legs the 20 mins at threshold came out at 5:08 per mile. So it confirmed that I was very fit and possibly ready! Maybe I'll see how Sunday goes.....

Friday, the legs felt it. They were like lumps of lead. So a really ploddy couple of runs ensued. I haven't really had many dull leg days this build up so I was certainly due one and in honesty given the 51 miles, quite a bit of which had been hard, I had run in the previous 48 hours it was completely understandable. Even Saturday's run felt a little out.

Sunday I was in a much better place and did the classic 30 mins at MP, 4X5mins, 30 mins session. I reverted to effort on this one as I was keen to get a good one banked and to be honest by the time the last 30 minute effort comes round, as hard as you can go is probably a reasonable approximation of current Marathon Pace. The first effort came in at 5:21mm, then averaged 5:07s for the five minute efforts. The last 30 minute effort came in at 5:26s. So in total I covered 15 miles in 80 minutes of effort which is bang on 5:20 per mile. Maybe I am ready..... No stop it Jason. Don't go there. Decision has been made! I then relaxed a little as my mind had started to get into race mode.

So a big week in terms of miles, sessions and a psychological roller-coaster in terms of the thoughts of should I or shouldn't I bring forward my attempt. I will be at Manchester on Sunday but using it as my last proper long run. I just hope the Marathon Gods continue to shine on me and anyone doing London and there are no last minute hiccoughs.

Body composition continues to improve as does my overall fitness. I doubt there will be much more improvement in fitness over the next couple of weeks before I start to taper and of course the fitness will retract as I freshen up in the taper and try to perfectly time my training stress balance.

This coming week I am going to start my Heat Acclimatisation protocol of putting shit loads of clothes on and running on my treadmill at a constant pace. This is in the hope I will see some powerful adaptations that come from this type of training. Also it will come in handy if London turns out to be a sweatfest like it was last year. I highly recommend Christof Schwiening's blog for an overview of this.

The above chart is available on the link above.