I feel like a fraud, setting out my dreams for all to see only to fall massively short. I'm sad to say that I picked up a double dose of tendinitis a few weeks ago which meant a big block of missed running. Just as I was starting to believe again that I could do something respectable at the 100k distance.
Santander is not going to happen. Yes one can never have a perfect build up to any race but if I am to run well at a race so far I need to go in confident that my body will hold up. Unfortunately, I just don't have that confidence.
I am now in a position where I have compacted my issues by seriously falling off the waggon with my diet and my fitness has returned to a very low level. I'm really rather down about the whole thing. This year promised to be great and things had been going so well, I'm just gutted that I have absolutely nothing to show for my hard work earlier this year.
It's going to be difficult to get back on the horse and get going again knowing where I was just a few short weeks ago. Part of me wants to give up. Is it all really worth it? I love to train and I love to feel myself get fitter, I love to race but the heartbreak of not even coming close to my goals is starting to bite. Maybe I'm just never going to be good enough.
It may be a long time before I blog about my running again. For now I hate it and love it in equal measure. My best friend, my greatest foe, my lover, my nemesis. I cant bring myself to put my running shoes on but I also cant imagine never running again. Time will tell and hopefully heal. I want to be able to accept that I may never be as good as I wanted to be. But for now that's quite a hard pill to swallow.
Sorry to hear that - hope you're back up and running again soon - best of luck
ReplyDeleteYour interview with Floris Gierman was inspirational. Hope you get back on the horse and find your form again. Injury set backs can make it seem like you'll never get back to previous form, maybe you won't but don't beat yourself up. You have already achieved a lot since 2008. You can still outrun that guy! Hopefully you can restart the habit and stay injury free. Good luck?
ReplyDeleteHope you find your form and mojo again. Granted, it might be a while before you feel anywhere close to previous condition. Good luck, thanks for the inspirational video with Floris. Many have watched and been helped by it.
ReplyDelete