Enough is Enough. The comeback starts here.

I need to sort my life out. For the past few months I haven't been looking after myself at all. Seldom exercising, terribly poor diet, occasionally smoking, drinking way too much and generally being the pre-2007 me. Thankfully I haven't quite got to the size I was then, but I was a very chunky 12 stone this morning (my race weight is under 10 stone). My clothes don't fit anymore. I had to buy a new suit a couple of months ago as I could no longer close the fastener. My t-shirts now embarrassingly rise up around my midriff as I have expanded so quickly.

I now get out of breath climbing the stairs. I look at old photos of me running, running fast, feeling fit, feeling like I was unstoppable. I want those days to return. But they wont if I don't turn my life around and sort my shit out. This spiral has the potential to ruin my life, because I understand myself. I am an obsessive, I am an addict. These traits help as well as hinder me in life. These are the traits that give me the motivation and drive to succeed. These are the traits that also pull me down to the depths of despair and depression. I want to be a success again. Yes I know I will never be the best athlete in the world. But I can be a good runner, I can inspire people, I can help people. I can be a healthier, happier me. Again.

It all starts with the acceptance that 'enough is enough'. Nobody can do this for me. I have to do it for myself. Just like I have done before. I cant set any race or time goals just yet, not least because we obviously have no idea when racing will be back on the scene! I am however on the waiting list for Valencia Marathon on 6th December. 231 days away. Lets see how far I can get!